I recently had a friend reach out to me that was having a really hard day. I have talked about how I feel a great responsibility with who I am today, what God has brought me through and what I have learned about myself, life, relationships and love. With that, I have people reach out to me when they are having a hard time. I consider that to be a great privilege to help someone in their struggle or journey.
Towards the end of the conversation I had the opportunity to speak about Doug’s role in the equation. Doug is often seen on the sidelines, but for me he is not and has never been on the sidelines. He’s always right beside me; even when I didn’t see or acknowledge him there.
Having my husband by my side is a blessing, period! He has always been there to make me laugh and to wipe my tears, with every ounce of love in either act. I could not ask for a better person to go through my life with, and I am grateful that God gave me such an amazing husband and friend. Doug was usually in the shadows of my mental depression, always there and present but living in the shadow. The thing I wanted my friend to know, is when that person is there trust that they are there for a reason. Whether that reason is love, by God’s design, friendship or all of the above, just trust their place in your life in that moment.
I know God saved me that night for His reasons, and I believe today I am honoring that reason and living a purposeful life to make the best of a difficult situation and help others.
I have to remember that Doug has not walked in my shoes per se, but he has walked beside me every step of the way and he has felt pain for my pain. He has felt sadness and despair when I have. He has in some ways had a greater fear than I can comprehend, to stand by not knowing if your spouse would die, he was the one that saw me lying on the floor that night. I am so blessed that he is still here and walking beside me today.
Loving myself has taken some time and I about I will ever see the person that God sees, or that Doug sees, but I do try everyday to love who He created. That is not always easy and it takes work everyday.
I have told people that are coming against peoples hurtful words; for every negative thought or comment you have, try and pause and see a good thing about yourself. We all have them, we just have to work to find them, apply them, and most importantly believing them.
Doug has always loved me, and shown me love. It took me almost dying, and walking back through hell to accept the love for what he was always giving me.
Thank you for loving me Doug! ❤